Balance

           I’ve been back in my “routine”, so to speak, for three weeks now.  The alarm clock rings promptly at 6 a.m.  The morning commute takes place.  The Kindergarteners arrive.  The day commences.  But there is always variation when it comes to the evening.  I haven’t quite mastered the evening routine yet.  There are too many things going on to have a regular schedule. And, yet, there is a settled-ness to it all.  There is a peace in the chaos.  The late nights don’t bother me anymore.  The lack of predictability is soothing.  Even through the commotion of the long day, I always manage to find something to look forward to each and every day. 

            The time seems to be flying by in a way it never really has before.  My weekends keeping filling up with new adventures or just plain R&R, and I honestly can’t decide which one I like more. I want to remember this feeling of steadiness despite the unknown.  The feeling of calm I finally have without the ever-present planning that has existed my entire life.  I want things to stay just as they are right now in this moment: like I’m caught up in a whirlwind of heres and theres and plans and unpredictability.  Like life finally has the balance I’ve been searching for, and, even though I’m standing on my tip-toes, I’m quite certain I’ll never fall.