I’ve been back in my “routine”, so to speak, for three weeks now. The alarm clock rings promptly at 6 a.m. The morning commute takes place. The Kindergarteners arrive. The day commences. But there is always variation when it comes to the evening. I haven’t quite mastered the evening routine yet. There are too many things going on to have a regular schedule. And, yet, there is a settled-ness to it all. There is a peace in the chaos. The late nights don’t bother me anymore. The lack of predictability is soothing. Even through the commotion of the long day, I always manage to find something to look forward to each and every day.
The time seems to be flying by in a way it never really has before. My weekends keeping filling up with new adventures or just plain R&R, and I honestly can’t decide which one I like more. I want to remember this feeling of steadiness despite the unknown. The feeling of calm I finally have without the ever-present planning that has existed my entire life. I want things to stay just as they are right now in this moment: like I’m caught up in a whirlwind of heres and theres and plans and unpredictability. Like life finally has the balance I’ve been searching for, and, even though I’m standing on my tip-toes, I’m quite certain I’ll never fall.