Not Quite Twenty-Five

“When you’re 25-ish, you’re old enough to know what kind of music you love, regardless of what your last boyfriend or roommate always used to play. You know how to walk in heels, how to tie a necktie, how to give a good toast at a wedding and how to make something for dinner. You don’t have to think much about skin care, home ownership or your retirement plan. Your life can look a lot of different ways when you’re 25: single, dating, engaged, married. You are working in dream jobs, pay-the-bills jobs and downright horrible jobs. You are young enough to believe that anything is possible, and you are old enough to make that belief a reality.”

"Bittersweet" by Shauna Niequist

Now I know I am not yet 25, but there is a lot of extremely relevant and valuable information in the above excerpt that I felt was noteworthy enough to share.  I like checklists, so, naturally, I like having someone tell me all the things I should know by the time I am 25.  For example, I know that I like country music more than any other genre, although I do enjoy a select few songs from almost every other genre (Except metal.  I honestly cannot think of a metal song I like).  I can walk pretty well in a pair of good-fitting heels, although, admittedly, I do not don them very often.  I can definitely make something for dinner.  I contribute this mostly to a running Monday-Night-Girl’s-Dinner I have been hosting every other week for the last two years.  I still need to work on the “tying a necktie” and “giving a toast at a wedding” bit.  But, like I said, I am not yet 25, so I have a little bit of time to master these skills. 

Anyway, my point in writing this post is not to tell you all the ways I am successful or unsuccessful in this ever-so-short list of things to accomplish by age 25.  Niequist has a lot more to say about the age in her entire chapter dedicated to it in the book “Bittersweet” (a book I HIGHLY recommend).  She talks about jobs, relationships, church…and not getting caught in a rut.

“There is a season for wildness and a season for settledness, and this is neither. This season is about becoming,” she pens.  And, as I read this, I sigh with relief as I realize that it is totally, 100% okay not to have it all figured out yet.  To still be “becoming”. 

In my quest for knowledge about “25” I also stumbled upon another article.  I wanted to share a couple things this young woman had to say about the ever-important age as well:

“If you are 25 or turning 25: …Happy hour is great because you can get tanked at what is essentially the late afternoon and be in bed by 9 p.m. It is OK to be in bed at 9 p.m. 25 is young, but you should never apologize for sleep because, like I said, your time to nap was three years ago.”

Can I get a hallelujah!?  I swear, people, I have been claiming a 9 o’clock curfew for quite some time now.  It is so nice to FINALLY have someone validate me on that one.

So, here’s to all you almost 25-year-olds (or 25-year-olds, or 26).  It looks like we are not alone in not quite having it all together yet.  It looks like people find our situation noteworthy and worth writing about.  I know I sure did.  

My Daddy Told Me...

“You can’t make chicken salad out of chicken feathers.”

            I can hear my daddy’s laugh as he utters this phrase.  It’s really lucky we are cut from the same mold because he always told me this at the most inopportune times.  After I had been fighting with my hair all morning, after spending hours studying for a test or writing a paper, after a really stressful day at work.  I know he doesn’t really mean it.  As a matter of fact it has become one of my favorite inside jokes between us.  Often, all I need to say is “chicken salad, chicken feathers” and the message has been successfully passed between us.  I have grown to expect him to say it.  Sometimes I set myself up for it.  Nowadays, I even find myself saying it to others.  Although no one else understands quite the way my daddy does. 

            In case you yourself are indeed confused at the words, allow me to explain.  Simply, it means you can’t make something out of nothing.  You can’t expect to have something great when you have nothing to start with.  Really mean when you think about my poor bad hair days, huh? 

            But when it seems like I’ve tried everything, put my best foot forward, and things are still coming up pear-shaped…well, that’s when I hear his voice in the back of my mind.  And maybe it’s not me…maybe it’s just those damn chicken feathers after all…

Find Yourself

Today, while driving home from lunch with a friend, this song came on and I found myself playing it repeat the whole way home. Particularly these lines:

When you find yourself

In some far off place

And it causes you to rethink some things

You start to sense that slowly

You're becoming someone else

And then you find yourself

When you make new friends in a brand new town

And you start to think about settlin' down

The things that would have been lost on you

Are now clear as a bell

And you find yourself

Yeah that's when you find yourself

Where you go through life

So sure of where you’re headin'

And you wind up lost and it's

The best thing that could have happened

‘Cause sometimes when you lose your way it's really just as well

Because you find yourself

Yeah that’s when you find yourself

I have lived in Jacksonville for just over a year now, and that year has been mostly a rollercoaster ride. My life is nothing like I anticipated it would be in my college years. In four days, I embark on my second year of teaching, my final year as a Teach for America corps member. For the last year of my life I have been looking for the meaning behind my being here in this city, doing this job. A year in, I’m still not sure I’ve figured it out. But I know there is a bigger picture. I know God has a reason for putting me here. And, while I can’t see it yet, I know that I will soon enough. Because, as the song says, sometimes it takes being lost for a little while to really find yourself.

My Mommy Told Me...

"The sun don't shine on a dog's ass all the time. If the dog don't move the sun will."

Please excuse my language, but somehow "butt" just doesn't have the same ring to it, and in order to get the full impact of the saying, I have to use my mom's exact language (it would also be helpful if you imagined it being spoken in a perfect Southern twang).

Now, some of you may be thinking, "what the heck does that even mean?". Well, I am here to explain it to you. Have you ever been in a situation where good things happen to the same person over and over again? It doesn't matter what the person does, good fortune is always upon them. Meanwhile, you've been sitting around trying your absolute hardest to do the right thing at the right time and it all just keeps blowing up in your face. It happens to us all at some point or another (unless you're one of those people formerly referred to as a "dog's ass", in which case I sincerely apologize). But here's the good news: as my momma says, eventually one of two things is going to happen, either the dog is going to move or the sun will. Now, that doesn't necessarily mean that good things are going to start happening to you, but it does mean that you won't always have to stomach the dog's ass in it's own personal shower of glory. And doesn't that make you feel just a little bit better?

Just a little Southern wisdom for y'all to chew on. I hope it makes you smile if nothing else, because you can't deny it's a funny saying. And who doesn't love a good laugh and some good advice from their momma?