2012: A Year in Review

As the year 2012 comes to a close, I felt it only appropriate to reflect back on all the things it brought me.  Some of these things I planned for, but most of them took me completely by surprise.  And, well, for the first time in my life, I am really really loving surprises.

In January, I kicked off the year with family in Wisconsin.  We rang in the new year in a state of utter relaxation as snow gently fell outside.  Then it was off to Atlanta to meet up with some friends for the Passion Conference where we were reminded of what was important and got refocused before getting back into the daily grind.  

In February, my mom and I met up with some family and friends in New York for a girls weekend stacked full with food, fun and fantastic Broadway shows.  

March brought spring break and my first venture to McGuires for St. Patrick's Day.  

With a twist of events in April, I decided to up and move across town into my perfect little apartment.  That's when things really started to change for me...

May was the calm before the storm of change.  With visits from my parents and explorations into my new corner of the city, it was as though life was preparing me for its take off.  

I finished my commitment to Teach for America in June.  When summer vacation kicked off I headed to Fort Worth for my cousin's wedding.  

July found me back in Jacksonville catching up with friends and starting my new job at KIPP VOICE.  I also made a Big Girl move and bought my first car!

In August, it was off to Orlando for a week of KIPP Summit and I began my year as a Kindergarten teacher.  

In September I checked something off my bucket list and ran my first 5K.  

October found me falling in love with this guy on a beach in Cocoa.  We celebrated our birthdays and flew to Kentucky, and I realized I had found a happiness with him I never even knew was possible.  

In true Florida fashion, November found us on the water soaking in the sun and relishing our new found happiness. 

December led us to many adventures: Eric Church in concert, dancing under Christmas lights, and playing in the snow.  

And this New Year's looked quite a bit different for me than the last one, or really any other before it.  Because this New Year's looked a lot like the rest of my life.

What I Learned in Kindergarten

          It’s that time of year again…back to school time.  You can tell by the commercials on TV, the sales in department stores, the kids outside relishing the last few moments of summer.  But mostly I can tell because a sense of nervous anticipation has settled over me.  I have spent that last four weeks preparing for my 25 Kindergarteners, and tomorrow I will find out if it was all enough. 

            This year I feel as though I am tackling a whole different monster: Five-year-olds instead of 11-year-olds.  I feel almost like a first year teacher again going into the year without any experience dealing with the wide-eyed, excited, first-time-in school babies.  But, despite it all, I feel ready.

            The whole preparation process has had me reminiscing about my own Kindergarten experience (what can I say? The counting bears and “Chicka Chicka Boom Boom” really took me back).  I have been trying to recall what I was feeling in the first moments of the first day.  Mostly I just remember flashes.  I remember what I wore (pink spandex biker shorts and a pale blue shirt with flowers).  I remember going to my cubby for the first time.  I remember being sad that my parents were leaving me.  I really don’t remember much about that first day, but I do remember a lot about Kindergarten as a whole. I remember singing “Witches Brew” and having gold nuggets appear on my desk courtesy of a leprechaun on St. Patrick’s Day.  I remember my mom volunteering in my classroom and eating bologna and cheese sandwiches every day for lunch (to this day I can’t eat a bologna sandwich anymore because I ate so many that year).  I remember the Jingle Bell Jog and Jump Rope for Heart.  I remember my best friend in my class, Paige.  But mostly I remember that I really, really loved my teacher.  I remember the Amelia Bedelia book she gave me when the year ended with the note written on the inside cover, and I remember the sense of pride that I felt at being able to read the entire thing cover to cover.  I remember that my teacher read really good stories and made me feel welcome and made learning fun.  And those are all the things I hope my 25 Kindergarteners remember about their year with me 20 years down the road.  I hope the little one I found wandering around the classroom Thursday night at Parent Night looking for a “best friend” finds what she is looking for and remembers that friend for the rest of her life. I hope they all discover a love for learning.  I hope when they think back on this year of their lives, they think about the classroom and the books and the games, but most of all, I hope they think back on their experiences as Kindergarteners and know that this was when it all started.  That Kindergarten was when their lifetime of learning began.  

The Highest Form of Learning

(My fellow ELA teacher, Ms. Black, who has taught alongside me for the last two years, and me showing off our Teach for America certificates.)

           One of my favorite songs is “Welcome to Wherever You Are” by Bon Jovi.  I had never heard it until my high school Baccalaureate.  Now I can’t listen to it without thinking of that night.  The words seemed to fit everything I was feeling so perfectly.  Like every worry, every fear, every hope I had for what was coming was somehow verbalized and I was completely at ease in that moment. 

            I go back to that song every once in a while, just to feel that feeling again.  It’s perfect in those moments of uncertainty.  It’s perfect for those moments when things are wrapping up, closing down…when something new and exciting and unknown in lurking around the corner. 

            I am having one of those moments this week. 

            After two years in the classroom, my time as a Teach for America Corps Member is drawing to a close.  For me though, it was two years of learning just as much as I taught, if not more.  It was a time of serious growth in my life.  I walked into my classroom two years ago with all the carefree-ness of a college student, and when I close my classroom door for the last time on Thursday afternoon I will walk away with only a shadow of that girl. 

            But, lucky for me, I’m not done growing yet.  Even though my time in Teach for America is over, I am fortunate enough to have the opportunity to continue my time in the classroom as a kindergarten teacher at KIPP VOICE. 

            Life changes so quickly and so often that it’s nearly impossible to keep up.  I still have a lot to learn; I’m not going to sit here and say I have it all figured out, but it is said that the highest form of learning is teaching, so I guess it’s a good thing I’m a teacher…I guess it’s a good thing that every year is a new beginning, and every beginning the end of the one before.  You get a lot of chances to get it right that way, and who doesn’t need a few chances in life?  

Find Yourself

Today, while driving home from lunch with a friend, this song came on and I found myself playing it repeat the whole way home. Particularly these lines:

When you find yourself

In some far off place

And it causes you to rethink some things

You start to sense that slowly

You're becoming someone else

And then you find yourself

When you make new friends in a brand new town

And you start to think about settlin' down

The things that would have been lost on you

Are now clear as a bell

And you find yourself

Yeah that's when you find yourself

Where you go through life

So sure of where you’re headin'

And you wind up lost and it's

The best thing that could have happened

‘Cause sometimes when you lose your way it's really just as well

Because you find yourself

Yeah that’s when you find yourself

I have lived in Jacksonville for just over a year now, and that year has been mostly a rollercoaster ride. My life is nothing like I anticipated it would be in my college years. In four days, I embark on my second year of teaching, my final year as a Teach for America corps member. For the last year of my life I have been looking for the meaning behind my being here in this city, doing this job. A year in, I’m still not sure I’ve figured it out. But I know there is a bigger picture. I know God has a reason for putting me here. And, while I can’t see it yet, I know that I will soon enough. Because, as the song says, sometimes it takes being lost for a little while to really find yourself.

Little Reminders

I've somehow let another week go by without writing. It's terrible, I know. And believe me it was not for a lack of things going on. This week has been an eventful one. Not in the sense that I have been go, go, go busy (because let's be honest, it's summer and I'm a teacher), but in the sense that I have learned a lot.

For the last two weeks I have been teaching fourth grade summer school at the school where one of my friends teaches kindergarten. And, being that it was the last week of summer school this week, I was none too busy. With my lack of busyness came the opportunity to help my dear friend out in her kindergarten class. Now, folks, I teach sixth grade usually so this was quite the change up for me, but I have to say I absolutely loved it. I loved their innocence, their hunger for learning, their politeness, their silly-ness, their unintentional humor. There was just something about reading them stories and helping them finger paint that rejuvenated me and made me laugh and left me feeling fulfilled. Spending the week with them was like getting a chance to look at life through the eyes of a child again, something we all need to do every now and then.

Another really special part of this week was getting to reconnect with my best friend. For the past 14 months we have lived in separate cities and I have only seen her a handful of times. But I think the mark of a true friend is someone you don't have to see often but with whom everything just falls into place with like you live inside each others minds. That is exactly how things are with Katie. Our friendship is one of those that withstands the tests of time. It overcame a year as roommates (a true feat, in my opinion), four years of college, high school drama, deaths of loved ones, and births celebrated like we shared a family. She is one of the few people I feel that I can be my absolute crazy self around. She is someone I immediately feel at home around because in so many ways she is home to me. A constant reminder that someone who doesn't share my bloodline knows everything about me and loves me anyway. And, honestly, who could ask for a better gift than that?

So, this last week of July was full of little reminders for me. Like a whisper in my ear telling me no matter how hectic or boring life is at any given moment, there should always be an innocence to the way you look at it and there should always someone you can call and tell about it. And if you're lucky enough to have both in the same week, then surely Someone up there is on your side and everything else will work itself out.

10 Things I've Learned from Teaching

As my first year of teaching draws to a close, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on all the things I've learned:

I've learned to drink wine. One glass and I'm utterly relaxed. Two glasses and I sleep like a baby.

I've learned the advantages of a routine, and the bliss in breaking it.

I've learned the value of prayer. Whispered prayer, shouted prayer, fervent prayer, tearful prayer. Any prayer is a good one.

I've learned that eleven is the new eighteen.

I've learned that few things are as essestial as a good night's sleep.

I've learned patience.

I've learned to live without J.Crew.

I've learned the persuasion of one piece of Laffy Taffy (except banana, it has no power).

I've learned that plans are only valid when preceded by the word "lesson".

And most importantly I've learned that even when I'm sitting on the couch by myself, there is always someone who understands me, and I am never alone.

This is the Final Countdown

One of the biggest perks of being a teacher is all the vacation time. I'm not gonna lie, getting a spring break in the real world is pretty priceless. This past week has been a refreshing reminder that I have almost survived my first year of teaching. Only nine more weeks to go. It's hard to believe I made it this far when I think back on the beginning of the year (my lack of writing should tell you how uninspired I was). But, oh, how far I have come! There really was no better way to reward myself than with a 5-day cruise to the Caribbean. My sun-kissed skin and well-rested body may be all I need to make it to June. At least I'm hoping they last that long...here's to hoping.

Lauren, Lynsey and me in Grand Cayman. You want to know what's great about this picture? Our students aren't in it!

Chicken Soup: For the teacher's soul

These are the words that sum up my thoughts upon completing what I was told would be the most challenging experience of my life thus far:

You know a dream is like a river

Ever changing as it flows

And the dreamers just a vessel that must follow where it goes

Trying to learn from what’s behind you and never knowing what’s in store

Makes a day a constant battle just to stay between the shores

And I will sail my vessel until the river runs dry

Like a bird upon the wind, these water’s are my skies.

I’ll never reach my destination, if I never try

So I will sail my vessel until the river runs dry

Too many times we stand aside and let the water slip away

But what we put off til tomorrow has now become today

So don’t you sit upon the shoreline and say you’re satisfied

Choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance the tides.

There’s bound to be rough waters and I know I’ll take some falls

But with the good Lord as my Captain, I can make it through them all.

In the last five weeks, I have learned that dreams are malleable. That time changes all things. That no matter how hard set you are about one set of beliefs, they can always be changed.

Teaching has taught me that. It has taught me that people can change. No matter how young or stubborn, every child has the same potential and their dreams matter.

In the process of getting to know my 17 students this summer, my entire life changed. I used to dream about being a published photographer or writer, but those dreams are on hold. I now dream of changing lives.

This summer, in the four weeks I had my students, they grew 22 points in reading. This means while their pre-test average was a 54, their post-test average was a 76. They went from failing to passing. But more importantly, they went from discouraged to empowered.

It breaks my heart to walk away from them now. But I leave them in the hands of my colleagues. I trust that their potential will continue to be nurtured, and they will grow into amazing leaders.

But what did they do for me? They taught me what’s important in life. I have never been more fulfilled as I am right now. They taught me that anyone can accomplish anything when they want it. No matter how many obstacles are stacked against you, you can always rise above. You can ALWAYS succeed.

Although I left Houston with puffy eyes, I know that more challenging, yet potential-filled, opportunities wait in Jacksonville. It is my dream to lead more students to achievement; to change their life track. To make them see that their dreams can come true, all they have to do is believe in themselves.

So, to my fellow Corps Members out there: keep dreaming. Let this experience change you the way you will change your students.

And to those of you who got me through the last five weeks with your jokes, smiling faces, dance parties, and extended breaks…you are amazing. I wouldn’t have made it without you, and I’m so glad we got to experience those kids together. We will forever be connected by the lives we touched.

Deep in the Heart of Texas

I have been in the classroom for 2 weeks now, and I think I have aged 5 years. There have been many adventures. From 12-year-olds crawling on my classroom floor, to exposure to Spanish words I don’t understand and probably wouldn’t know the meaning of if I did, to literally jumping up and down every time someone makes a 100 on a quiz, there is never a dull moment.

Although the first day was one of the most challenging 1.5 hours of my life, I have to admit it has only gotten better. Every day seems like a small victory as I see my students not only grasp concepts, but also warm up to me. Last Friday, I think I finally broke through and I am slowly falling in love with each and every one of the 6^th graders in my class. I now get hugs in the hallway, adorable lunch conversations, and the highlight of the last three weeks…11 of my 13 students got 100s on Friday’s quiz!!

I honestly came into this “Institute” experience thinking it was going to be the worst five weeks of my life, and, now, with only two weeks left, I am dreading getting on the plane home. I want to stay here with my students and teach them all I can.

It was all I could have hoped for to have a job I wouldn’t mind going to every day. But this job…I can’t wait to get back in the classroom every morning. I can’t wait to see what new adventures they have in store for me. I never thought I would be the type of person to rave about her job, but, people, I am raving! I am having the time of my life!

* * *

In other news, I should definitely fill you in on the all-around Southernness of this experience. I mean, I am in TEXAS. I have taken it upon myself to educate all the Yankees I am encountering on the meaning of living in the South. Yesterday, for the 4^th of July, I orchestrated an “America” themed power hour. This consisted of only country music, because in my very strong opinion Southerners are as American as you can get. It doesn’t get any more American than sweet tea, chicken fried steak, Steel Magnolias and a good Southern twang. And the 4^th of July is never more authentic than down in the heart of Texas.

Yesterday, we celebrated by going to Freedom over Texas. We lounged in a huge park while listening to Little Big Town sing Boondocks and Bring It On Home to Me, and, if I’m being honest, I got a little emotional over the fireworks display. I mean, if you really stop to think about what freedom means, how could you not get a little teary eyed?