Reunited

The last few days have seen the beginning of a pretty relaxing spring break.  They have also seen some much needed time with good friends.  One of my good friends from Teach for America, Joey, was in town this weekend visiting from grad school.  We hadn’t seen him since July, and, needless to say, lots of things have changed since then (see here).  But I think that was one of the coolest things about the visit…that despite the fact that almost everything is completely different now, the friendship hadn’t changed at all. 

Wes and Joey are particularly close, but I had never gotten to witness the intricacies of their friendship before.  All that changed this weekend.  I felt like I was getting to witness something especially rare.  I have had many friends in my lifetime, but I’ve never been the best pen pal so to speak.  So getting to see two people who have been separated for the last seven months by thousands of miles act like no time has passed and no distance could separate them, well, I found it inspiring. 

On Joey’s last night in town, we got together with a bunch of people who spent our two years of Teach for America with us.  We spent hours sitting together just talking in a gastropub in Riverside.  As the night got later, a little two-man band showed up and started playing the most perfect of soundtracks for the evening.  All it took was a guitar and a violin and none of us wanted to leave.  The last song we heard them play that night was “Ho Hey” by the Lumineers.  The people sitting in the restaurant started chiming in with the “hos” and the “heys” and it was like, for just a moment, time slowed down for us.  Every now and then in life, you get those moments that feel like a scene from a movie.  So perfect, yet so unbelievably unscripted, that you feel like you're watching it from the outside.  But then you realize you’re lucky enough to get to be in it, to actually be the star of this perfect scene of your life.  And your co-stars, well they’re pretty incredible, too.

2012: A Year in Review

As the year 2012 comes to a close, I felt it only appropriate to reflect back on all the things it brought me.  Some of these things I planned for, but most of them took me completely by surprise.  And, well, for the first time in my life, I am really really loving surprises.

In January, I kicked off the year with family in Wisconsin.  We rang in the new year in a state of utter relaxation as snow gently fell outside.  Then it was off to Atlanta to meet up with some friends for the Passion Conference where we were reminded of what was important and got refocused before getting back into the daily grind.  

In February, my mom and I met up with some family and friends in New York for a girls weekend stacked full with food, fun and fantastic Broadway shows.  

March brought spring break and my first venture to McGuires for St. Patrick's Day.  

With a twist of events in April, I decided to up and move across town into my perfect little apartment.  That's when things really started to change for me...

May was the calm before the storm of change.  With visits from my parents and explorations into my new corner of the city, it was as though life was preparing me for its take off.  

I finished my commitment to Teach for America in June.  When summer vacation kicked off I headed to Fort Worth for my cousin's wedding.  

July found me back in Jacksonville catching up with friends and starting my new job at KIPP VOICE.  I also made a Big Girl move and bought my first car!

In August, it was off to Orlando for a week of KIPP Summit and I began my year as a Kindergarten teacher.  

In September I checked something off my bucket list and ran my first 5K.  

October found me falling in love with this guy on a beach in Cocoa.  We celebrated our birthdays and flew to Kentucky, and I realized I had found a happiness with him I never even knew was possible.  

In true Florida fashion, November found us on the water soaking in the sun and relishing our new found happiness. 

December led us to many adventures: Eric Church in concert, dancing under Christmas lights, and playing in the snow.  

And this New Year's looked quite a bit different for me than the last one, or really any other before it.  Because this New Year's looked a lot like the rest of my life.

The Highest Form of Learning

(My fellow ELA teacher, Ms. Black, who has taught alongside me for the last two years, and me showing off our Teach for America certificates.)

           One of my favorite songs is “Welcome to Wherever You Are” by Bon Jovi.  I had never heard it until my high school Baccalaureate.  Now I can’t listen to it without thinking of that night.  The words seemed to fit everything I was feeling so perfectly.  Like every worry, every fear, every hope I had for what was coming was somehow verbalized and I was completely at ease in that moment. 

            I go back to that song every once in a while, just to feel that feeling again.  It’s perfect in those moments of uncertainty.  It’s perfect for those moments when things are wrapping up, closing down…when something new and exciting and unknown in lurking around the corner. 

            I am having one of those moments this week. 

            After two years in the classroom, my time as a Teach for America Corps Member is drawing to a close.  For me though, it was two years of learning just as much as I taught, if not more.  It was a time of serious growth in my life.  I walked into my classroom two years ago with all the carefree-ness of a college student, and when I close my classroom door for the last time on Thursday afternoon I will walk away with only a shadow of that girl. 

            But, lucky for me, I’m not done growing yet.  Even though my time in Teach for America is over, I am fortunate enough to have the opportunity to continue my time in the classroom as a kindergarten teacher at KIPP VOICE. 

            Life changes so quickly and so often that it’s nearly impossible to keep up.  I still have a lot to learn; I’m not going to sit here and say I have it all figured out, but it is said that the highest form of learning is teaching, so I guess it’s a good thing I’m a teacher…I guess it’s a good thing that every year is a new beginning, and every beginning the end of the one before.  You get a lot of chances to get it right that way, and who doesn’t need a few chances in life?  

Find Yourself

Today, while driving home from lunch with a friend, this song came on and I found myself playing it repeat the whole way home. Particularly these lines:

When you find yourself

In some far off place

And it causes you to rethink some things

You start to sense that slowly

You're becoming someone else

And then you find yourself

When you make new friends in a brand new town

And you start to think about settlin' down

The things that would have been lost on you

Are now clear as a bell

And you find yourself

Yeah that's when you find yourself

Where you go through life

So sure of where you’re headin'

And you wind up lost and it's

The best thing that could have happened

‘Cause sometimes when you lose your way it's really just as well

Because you find yourself

Yeah that’s when you find yourself

I have lived in Jacksonville for just over a year now, and that year has been mostly a rollercoaster ride. My life is nothing like I anticipated it would be in my college years. In four days, I embark on my second year of teaching, my final year as a Teach for America corps member. For the last year of my life I have been looking for the meaning behind my being here in this city, doing this job. A year in, I’m still not sure I’ve figured it out. But I know there is a bigger picture. I know God has a reason for putting me here. And, while I can’t see it yet, I know that I will soon enough. Because, as the song says, sometimes it takes being lost for a little while to really find yourself.

10 Things I've Learned from Teaching

As my first year of teaching draws to a close, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on all the things I've learned:

I've learned to drink wine. One glass and I'm utterly relaxed. Two glasses and I sleep like a baby.

I've learned the advantages of a routine, and the bliss in breaking it.

I've learned the value of prayer. Whispered prayer, shouted prayer, fervent prayer, tearful prayer. Any prayer is a good one.

I've learned that eleven is the new eighteen.

I've learned that few things are as essestial as a good night's sleep.

I've learned patience.

I've learned to live without J.Crew.

I've learned the persuasion of one piece of Laffy Taffy (except banana, it has no power).

I've learned that plans are only valid when preceded by the word "lesson".

And most importantly I've learned that even when I'm sitting on the couch by myself, there is always someone who understands me, and I am never alone.

Chicken Soup: For the teacher's soul

These are the words that sum up my thoughts upon completing what I was told would be the most challenging experience of my life thus far:

You know a dream is like a river

Ever changing as it flows

And the dreamers just a vessel that must follow where it goes

Trying to learn from what’s behind you and never knowing what’s in store

Makes a day a constant battle just to stay between the shores

And I will sail my vessel until the river runs dry

Like a bird upon the wind, these water’s are my skies.

I’ll never reach my destination, if I never try

So I will sail my vessel until the river runs dry

Too many times we stand aside and let the water slip away

But what we put off til tomorrow has now become today

So don’t you sit upon the shoreline and say you’re satisfied

Choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance the tides.

There’s bound to be rough waters and I know I’ll take some falls

But with the good Lord as my Captain, I can make it through them all.

In the last five weeks, I have learned that dreams are malleable. That time changes all things. That no matter how hard set you are about one set of beliefs, they can always be changed.

Teaching has taught me that. It has taught me that people can change. No matter how young or stubborn, every child has the same potential and their dreams matter.

In the process of getting to know my 17 students this summer, my entire life changed. I used to dream about being a published photographer or writer, but those dreams are on hold. I now dream of changing lives.

This summer, in the four weeks I had my students, they grew 22 points in reading. This means while their pre-test average was a 54, their post-test average was a 76. They went from failing to passing. But more importantly, they went from discouraged to empowered.

It breaks my heart to walk away from them now. But I leave them in the hands of my colleagues. I trust that their potential will continue to be nurtured, and they will grow into amazing leaders.

But what did they do for me? They taught me what’s important in life. I have never been more fulfilled as I am right now. They taught me that anyone can accomplish anything when they want it. No matter how many obstacles are stacked against you, you can always rise above. You can ALWAYS succeed.

Although I left Houston with puffy eyes, I know that more challenging, yet potential-filled, opportunities wait in Jacksonville. It is my dream to lead more students to achievement; to change their life track. To make them see that their dreams can come true, all they have to do is believe in themselves.

So, to my fellow Corps Members out there: keep dreaming. Let this experience change you the way you will change your students.

And to those of you who got me through the last five weeks with your jokes, smiling faces, dance parties, and extended breaks…you are amazing. I wouldn’t have made it without you, and I’m so glad we got to experience those kids together. We will forever be connected by the lives we touched.

To the next big adventure...

Well, it’s been awhile since my last update, and, to be honest, it’s probably going to be even longer until my next one. I am writing this from the air, and it’s probably the first time I have truly had some downtime in the last week.

Last Tuesday my journey as a Teach For America corps member began. I spent the week in Jacksonville getting to know my future home and fellow corps members. I’ll be completely honest, after getting lost downtown a few times, I am looking at myself with very critical eyes wondering why the HECK I thought it was a good idea to pick the largest city in the continental US (in square mileage) to move to. Although I have my doubts about my sense of direction and how long it is going to take me to learn to navigate around town, it only took one view of the St. Johns River to know that I could definitely feel at home there.

It was a long week of learning more about the cause and the achievement gap and why the work we would be doing is relevant in the city of Jacksonville. We heard many success stories and had the opportunity to speak with some of the students who are a testament to them. After one video about a 3^rd grade student there was barely a dry eye in the room. I must admit I am very excited to see the difference I am going to make in the lives of students in Jacksonville and this summer in Houston.

For the next five weeks, it’s TFA “boot camp” as they like to call it. I couldn’t be more anxious about what’s to come; especially after finding out this morning I am going to be teaching middle school and not elementary during summer school. It took me a few minutes to even remember what you learn during those three years, except, as one of my fellow corps members pointed out, the existence of the opposite sex. If my cousin, a recent graduate of 8^th grade is any indication, I should expect a high level of criticism on my attire. I’m sure she would love nothing more than to watch me try to control a room full of her peers. The thought alone makes me want to laugh and cry all at once. Hopefully, she has a little faith in me. I should probably call her for some advice. I can hear the laughter now.

But, for now, I am soaring through the skies, oil-ruined water below me, sleeping corps members all around and all I can feel is a sense of complete anticipation for what’s to come. I know that there are hundreds of other people just like me who are about to encounter the same obstacle. I can honestly say I have never bonded with so many people in such a short amount of time, and I am beyond excited to lean on them for strength and laughter in this crazy, whirlwind adventure. I know the next five weeks are going to be the hardest I have ever lived through, but I also know that if I can survive it, I can survive anything this world throws at me (because at least most other things allow for some time for sleeping…).